Yesterday’s episode of “The View” brought up a whole host of emotions I have not felt for awhile. The episode was about infertility, something I struggled with personally. (hello family! you learn something new every day, don’t you?)
Celebrities Guiliana and Bill Rancic came on to discuss their personal struggle with infertility and the treatments that have tried and are considering. The conversation took a personal turn for me when Guiliana mentioned that the doctors believe she is too skinny and if she would just gain 5 or 10 pounds she might be able to get pregnant. She balked at this idea–citing her job and the fact that she likes being thin. The View co-hosts all gave her an earful on how if she really wanted to get pregnant, she would put on those pounds. Over on Twitter, the conversation was the same. The general consensus was:
Like Whoopi said, no butts!! Screw the sizes and tv look, you want to have a baby then you need to do what you have to do (@wrestlingaddict)
This is much easier said than done.
I’ve been there. After two years of unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant, I started infertility treatments. After they did not work, the doctors told me my chances to get pregnant were slim, but I might consider gaining some weight. Just like Guiliana, my cycles were not consistent and there was a chance that an increase in body weight might help get me on track.
When you are consumed with a certain lifestyle and look, it isn’t just THAT easy to “gain a few pounds”. I was in phenomenal shape that I worked VERY hard to achieve. Although my heart wanted children, my MIND could not allow myself to “just gain some weight”. I feared every extra ounce that might end up on my body with absolutely NO guarantee that I would even get pregnant.
If you have never been in this situation, it is very easy to judge. After all, five pounds is just five pounds. But to someone who lives by the number on the scale, five pounds can mean days, weeks, and even months of self-loathing. So please don’t judge her. Guiliana was courageous enough to go on TV and tell women it’s okay to talk about infertility.
I chose not to gain those five pounds. I did not get pregnant and my husband and I got divorced.
So are you wondering how on earth I ended up with THREE children if I chose to not gain those 5 pounds and I got divorced?
Well, you’ll have to meet me in public (Fitbloggin anyone?) to get the rest of the story as I don’t feel comfortable putting it all out here on the internet!
I can tell you though, I still struggle everyday with my weight. I absolutely LOVE my children with all my heart but there is not a day that goes by that I don’t cringe at my new mommy-body in the mirror. Some habits/thoughts/feelings never go away.
Did you watch this episode? Are you an official View Mom Ambassador? (twitter hashtag #theviewmoms). (I’m not but I think I should be. ) I also think that I should get the chance to interview Elisabeth for my “One Fit Mommy” series.
Elisabeth—are you listening?
Photo credit: InStyle and JJB